The 7 Stages of Grief - Denial

Denial


We all suffer denial in different ways too. Some of us vocally, some by thinking if I don't talk about it, it hasn't happened and some subconsciously through our dreams.

You see someone in the street and for a split second your brain is telling you that it is the person you lost, just because they have a similar style, height or gait, but however much you want this to be true, the reality hits home in the following seconds. This is a natural reaction and you are not going mad. If this continues for an extended period after your loss, then maybe thats the time you need to think about talking it through with someone, if nothing else, just to confirm you are going through the grieving process.

Dreaming is where a lot of us come unstuck. I had extremely vivid dreams about doing things with my brother that were so clear that I could be up and washed and dressed before the reality collided with the dream head. I could be convinced in those waking moments that the reality had been the nightmare and he was fine. I'd waken up happy it had all been a big mistake before remembering I'd just been asleep and it had been a dream. The sorrow and sadness was sometimes totally engulfing and it was like day 1 again.

On the other hand sometimes it was major nightmares I had, where he was dying in all different ways and I felt helpless in the dream to help him. What my head was doing was correlating everything in my sleep and showing me what my emotional state was. The helplessness in the dream was how I felt in my wake state whether I was able to recognise it at the time or not.

You too might be dealing with these exact emotions just now or maybe none of this has happened to you. There is no straight path of this will or won't happen to you. There will be a path you are on though and you have to recognise it as being your method of grief and ask for help if you can't or don't feel that you can cope with it alone.